220 Anti Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Without the Punchline

If you’re tired of classic setups and punchlines, these 220 anti jokes are exactly what you need. They flip the script with unexpected, literal humor that’s so awkward, it’s hilarious. Instead of clever twists, they offer dry and straightforward answers that catch you off guard.

This list delivers a massive collection of deadpan comedy, weird logic, and humor so bad—it’s good. Perfect for fans of dark humor, sarcasm, or just a different take on joke-telling. Get ready to laugh without the usual punchline setup!

Table of Contents

🤷‍♂️ Anti Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Without the Punchline

😂 Why did the chicken cross the road?
👉 Because it was going to the other side.

🐢 What’s green and has wheels?
👉 Grass. I lied about the wheels.

🕳️ What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
👉 Being robbed at gunpoint.

🧍Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
👉 He was hit by a bus.

🍞 What did the toast say to the butter?
👉 Nothing. Toast doesn’t talk.

🧠 How do you confuse someone?
👉 Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.

🐟 What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
👉 Swimming lessons.

📦 What did one cardboard box say to the other?
👉 Nothing. They’re boxes.

🚗 Why did the man fall off his bike?
👉 Because someone threw a fridge at him.

👨‍⚕️ Why did the doctor get fired?
👉 Malpractice.

🐄 What do you call a cow with no legs?
👉 Ground beef. Literally.

🛏️ Why did grandma sit on the remote?
👉 She didn’t know it was there.

🧑‍🎓 What’s a student’s favorite subject?
👉 It varies based on personal interest.

🌧️ Why don’t skeletons go outside when it rains?
👉 They’re dead.

🧊 What’s cold and square?
👉 Ice.

🐶 What do you call a dog with no ears and no tail?
👉 Doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyway.

🍴 What’s a fork’s favorite food?
👉 It’s an inanimate object.

🎂 Why don’t we eat cake every day?
👉 Because it’s unhealthy.

🕓 What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
👉 Time to get a new clock.

🐥 What came first: the chicken or the egg?
👉 Science is still debating that.

😐 Anti Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Without the Punchline

🧃 Why did Timmy drink his juice slowly?
👉 Because it was cold and he didn’t want brain freeze.

🧱 What’s red and bad for your teeth?
👉 A brick.

🧑‍🏫 What do teachers do after school?
👉 They go home.

🥚 What do you call an egg that tells jokes?
👉 Confusing.

🪨 What’s hard and sits in a corner?
👉 A rock.

🐍 Why don’t snakes wear hats?
👉 They don’t have heads shaped for hats.

💻 Why did the computer go to sleep?
👉 It was idle for too long.

🐘 Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
👉 It didn’t. Elephants don’t care about aesthetics.

🔧 What do mechanics dream of?
👉 Regular REM sleep.

🚽 Why was the toilet paper sad?
👉 Personal hygiene is a serious matter.

🧻 What do you get when you roll a tissue?
👉 A rolled-up tissue.

🐇 Why don’t rabbits use cell phones?
👉 They don’t have opposable thumbs.

🎈 What happens if you pop a balloon?
👉 It pops.

🪑 What’s brown and sits still?
👉 A chair.

🚀 What do astronauts eat for lunch?
👉 Whatever is in their meal pack.

🕸️ Why don’t spiders go to school?
👉 They lack the societal structure for that.

🐒 What’s a monkey’s favorite fruit?
👉 Bananas. Maybe. Not confirmed.

🧟 Why did the zombie go to therapy?
👉 He had unresolved issues.

📺 What’s on TV tonight?
👉 Check your local listings.

🕶️ What did the sunglasses say to the face?
👉 Nothing. They’re sunglasses.

🤓 Anti Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Without the Punchline

🧊 Why did the ice cube melt?
👉 Because it was exposed to heat.

🧑‍🍳 What do you get when you mix flour, water, and yeast?
👉 Bread dough.

🍂 Why did the leaf fall from the tree?
👉 Gravity.

🦴 What do you call a dog with no bones?
👉 Dead.

🧃 Why didn’t the juice box go to school?
👉 It’s an inanimate object.

🍎 Why didn’t the apple go to prom?
👉 It’s fruit.

🐸 What sound does a frog make?
👉 Ribbit. That’s just a fact.

🔋 What did the battery say to the phone?
👉 Nothing. Batteries don’t talk.

🛏️ What happens when you don’t sleep?
👉 You get tired.

🐦 What’s blue and flies?
👉 A blue bird.

🚪 Why didn’t the door open?
👉 It was locked.

🦷 Why did the man go to the dentist?
👉 He had a cavity.

🧼 What do you get when you mix soap and water?
👉 Bubbles.

📞 Why didn’t anyone answer the phone?
👉 It was on silent.

🎵 What’s music made of?
👉 Sounds arranged over time.

💀 What do skeletons eat?
👉 Nothing. They’re dead.

🧊 What’s cold and doesn’t talk?
👉 An ice cube.

🔥 What happens if you touch fire?
👉 You get burned.

🧃 What do you get when you squeeze an orange?
👉 Orange juice.

📚 Why did the book stay on the shelf?
👉 No one took it.

😶‍🌫️ Anti Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Without the Punchline

🌽 What do you call corn that’s not yellow?
👉 A different variety of corn.

🧀 Why didn’t the cheese talk back?
👉 It’s dairy.

🧊 Why did nobody invite the ice?
👉 It melts at room temperature.

🐢 What do turtles do on their day off?
👉 They continue being turtles.

🕒 Why was 3 afraid of 4?
👉 It wasn’t. Numbers don’t feel fear.

🌕 What do you get when the moon disappears?
👉 A new moon.

🎒 Why did the backpack sit in the corner?
👉 Because someone put it there.

🚶 Why did the man walk into the store?
👉 He needed something.

🧃 Why is orange juice orange?
👉 Because it comes from oranges.

🍕 What’s a pizza’s favorite topping?
👉 It has no preferences.

🧻 Why did the tissue cry?
👉 Someone used it.

🚿 What did the shower say to the bathroom?
👉 Nothing. It’s plumbing.

🍟 What’s crispy and served with burgers?
👉 Fries.

🔑 What do you call a key that doesn’t open anything?
👉 A useless key.

🧹 What’s long and helps clean?
👉 A broom.

🧠 Why did the brain stop working?
👉 Lack of oxygen.

🚶‍♂️ Why did Bob go for a walk?
👉 Exercise.

🥫 What do you get when you open a can?
👉 The contents of the can.

🐓 What do chickens dream about?
👉 Unknown. No clear scientific consensus.

🧱 What’s heavy, square, and doesn’t move?
👉 A brick.