220 Valentines Day Jokes For Singles That Will Make You Smile

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be boring—it can be funny too! Our collection of 220 Valentines Day jokes for singles is here to bring you some much-needed laughs. From clever one-liners to silly puns, these jokes are perfect for anyone enjoying the day solo.

Whether you’re scrolling through memes or sharing with friends, this list will brighten your mood. Celebrate being single, happy, and full of humor with our ultimate list of Valentine’s Day humor. Who says love is only for couples when you’ve got laughter?

Lighthearted Valentines Day Jokes For Singles

• 💔 I’m not single, I’m in a long-term relationship with freedom and pizza.
• 😴 My Valentine’s plans? A date with my bed. We’re going to sleep together.
• 🧸 I asked my teddy bear to be my Valentine. He’s giving me the silent treatment, but I know he can’t bear to be without me.
• 🍫 The best part about being single on Valentine’s Day? Chocolate goes on sale February 15th!
• 🎮 My relationship status: Currently playing hard to get, but extremely easy to forget.
• 🍷 Wine is my Valentine. At least it ages well and gets better with time.
• 📱 I texted “I love you” to a random number. They replied “Who’s this?” That’s how my Valentine’s Day is going.
• 👻 I ghosted my date tonight. And by date, I mean the calendar.
• 🛌 My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect together, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
• 🧠 Being single means my only commitment issues are deciding what to watch on Netflix.
• 🔍 I’ve been searching for my soulmate, but my WiFi keeps disconnecting.
• 🐱 My cat is my Valentine. Lower expectations, higher satisfaction.
• 💸 Being single on Valentine’s Day is great for your wallet but bad for your ice cream budget.
• 🥊 I’m not fighting for anyone’s attention this Valentine’s. The only boxing I’m doing is with the leftover pizza.
• 🚫 My relationship status: Built a blanket fort and hanging a “No couples allowed” sign.
• 🍕 How do I celebrate Valentine’s Day? With a large pizza. Because unlike people, it never disappoints.
• 👑 Single on Valentine’s Day? More like royalty who hasn’t found a worthy subject yet.
• 🛍️ My shopping cart on February 14th: Ice cream, wine, and dignity.
• 🤹 I’m juggling a lot of relationships right now… Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.
• 🧘 Single life meditation: “I am at peace with my relationship status… especially around clearance chocolate season.”

Self-Love Jokes

• 🪞 I’m dating someone perfect for me. It’s me.
• 💅 Roses are red, violets are blue, champagne for one is cheaper than dinner for two.
• 🤗 I’m practicing self-love this Valentine’s Day. I bought myself chocolates and ate them all without sharing.
• 🛀 My Valentine’s date? A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and zero awkward conversations.
• 👔 I dressed up for Valentine’s Day dinner. My sweatpants were very impressed.
• 💓 I’m having a romantic evening with the love of my life – me, myself, and I.
• 📝 I wrote myself a love letter. It was mostly about how great I am at making mac and cheese.
• 🧖 Self-care is my Valentine. No disappointment, all pampering.
• 🎁 I bought myself roses. At least I know my favorite color.
• 🎬 I’m taking myself to a movie tonight. I already know we both want to see the same thing.
• 🔮 My future relationship status: It’s complicated between me, myself, and I.
• 🎵 I’m my own love song. Sometimes I hit the wrong notes, but the melody is still beautiful.
• 🧂 I’m the salt to my own pepper. Sometimes I’m too much, but I always add flavor.
• 🏃 I’m running from commitment. Well, more like walking briskly – I’m not in that good of shape.
• 🍪 I made cookies for my Valentine. Then I remembered it’s me, so I ate all the dough.
• 🎭 I’m playing hard to get with myself. Spoiler alert: I win either way.
• 🏆 I’m the trophy and the winner this Valentine’s Day.
• 🧠 My brain to my heart on February 14th: “Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”
• 🎈 I promised to lift myself up this Valentine’s Day. Emotionally, not physically – I skipped arm day.
• 🌱 Self-growth is my best relationship. We have our ups and downs, but we’re in it for the long haul.

Dating App Jokes

• 📱 My dating profile says I enjoy long romantic walks… to the fridge.
• 👻 I got ghosted so many times on dating apps, I’m starting to think I’m a medium.
• 🧩 Dating apps are like puzzles. You try to piece together someone’s entire personality from five photos and an emoji.
• 🔄 My thumb got a workout from all the swiping, but the rest of me is still waiting.
• 🤖 I’m convinced half my matches are bots. The other half are people who swiped right by accident.
• 📸 Dating profile pics vs. reality is like ordering online vs. what gets delivered.
• 🔍 I’m looking for someone who won’t get upset when I take 3-5 business days to respond to texts.
• 🎣 Dating apps are just fishing with selfies as bait.
• 🏃 They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but dating apps are showing me the aquarium needs cleaning.
• 📊 After extensive research on dating apps, I’ve concluded my type is “people who don’t message back.”
• 🤔 Dating app conversations are like job interviews where both parties are unqualified.
• 📝 My dating bio says “Looking for the Jim to my Pam,” but I’m actually the Kelly to everyone’s Ryan.
• 🖼️ I spend more time choosing profile pictures than I do actually talking to matches.
• 🎭 Dating apps: Where everyone claims to love hiking but nobody ever wants to go outside.
• 🌟 According to my dating app, I’m compatible with everyone within a 50-mile radius who I’ll never message.
• 🎪 My dating app experience is like a circus – lots of clowns, occasional magic, and I always leave exhausted.
• 🎲 Dating apps are gambling with extra steps. You put in time and effort hoping for a jackpot, but usually end up with nothing.
• 🎯 They say dating is a numbers game. My number seems to be zero.
• 🤹 My dating app strategy: Juggle multiple conversations until they all inevitably fizzle out at once.
• 🕵️ I’m a detective on dating apps, trying to determine if “entrepreneur” means successful business owner or unemployed.

Bad Date Jokes

• 🍽️ My last date said I take things too literally when I stole the restaurant silverware.
• 🚗 My date thought “ghost ride the whip” meant abandoning me at the restaurant.
• 🎬 My date took me to see a horror movie. The real horror was their personality.
• 🧠 My date kept talking about their ex so much, I felt like I was on a double date.
• 🔎 Looking for red flags on dates is my cardio.
• 📱 My date spent so much time on their phone, I texted them to ask if they were enjoying our date.
• 🍴 My date said they forgot their wallet. Coincidentally, I forgot my interest in a second date.
• 🦜 My date kept repeating everything I said. I didn’t know I agreed to meet a parrot.
• 🎮 My date said they were a professional gamer. Their game? Playing with my emotions.
• 🏃 I set a new personal record for the fastest exit from a bad date: 7 minutes, 32 seconds.
• 🍝 My date said “Let’s split the check” after ordering the most expensive items on the menu.
• 🤥 My date’s profile said 6’2″. The only thing that tall was the stack of lies they told.
• 🛑 My date’s red flags were so obvious, bulls started charging at our table.
• 🌧️ My date’s personality was like bad weather – cold, damp, and made me want to stay inside.
• 🎭 My date was an actor – mainly acting interested in what I had to say.
• 🥗 My date criticized my food choice. I didn’t realize I ordered a side of judgment.
• 🧊 The chemistry on my last date was so bad, even science couldn’t explain it.
• 🤐 My date talked so much about themselves, I’m qualified to write their biography.
• 👻 My date ghosted me mid-dinner. At least the waiter noticed I was still there.
• 🚩 I collect red flags from dates like some people collect stamps.

Valentine’s Wordplay

• 🧩 What do you call a very small Valentine? A valen-tiny.
• 🚚 What did the delivery driver say on Valentine’s Day? “I’ve got a crush on you.”
• 🔮 What did the fortune teller say on Valentine’s Day? “I can see you’re going to be alone.”
• 🍗 What do you call it when two single chickens flirt? Fowl play.
• 🎺 What instrument does a skeleton play to his Valentine? A trom-bone.
• 🧲 I seem to have lost my magnetic personality. No wonder I can’t attract anyone.
• 🦖 What did the dinosaur say after a bad Valentine’s date? “I’m dino-sore.”
• 🧮 Math teachers are single on Valentine’s Day because they have too many problems.
• 🍷 What’s a ghost’s favorite Valentine drink? Boos.
• 📆 What did February say to January? “You’re days are numbered.”
• 🔑 What did the key say to the lock on Valentine’s Day? “You make me want to open up.”
• 🐝 What did the bee say to his Valentine? “You’re un-bee-lievably cute.”
• 📚 What did one library book say to the other? “I’m checking you out.”
• 🚗 What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look now, I’m changing.”
• 🦊 What did the fox say to his Valentine? “You’re out-fox-ing amazing.”
• 🕸️ How did the spider ask his crush out? “Wanna hang out web-side?”
• 🧦 What did the sock say to its partner? “We make a great pair.”
• 🦉 What did the owl say about being single? “Who, who cares?”
• 🔌 What did the electric plug say to the socket? “We were made for each other, but I’m staying unplugged.”
• 🌵 What did the cactus say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re stuck with me.”

Food-Related Valentine’s Jokes

• 🧀 What did the cheese say to the single cracker? “You’re looking sharp, but I camembert to be alone.”
• 🍕 Pizza is my Valentine because it never lets me down and always delivers.
• 🍦 Ice cream is better than a relationship. It knows how to satisfy me without talking.
• 🍫 Chocolate doesn’t ask questions. Chocolate understands.
• 🥑 Are you an avocado? Because you’re the good kind of fat I want in my life.
• 🌮 Tacos are like relationships – even when they fall apart, they’re still pretty good.
• 🍪 Cookies never break your heart, they only break apart.
• 🍝 I’m having a romantic dinner with spaghetti tonight. We’re going to be tangled up all evening.
• 🍩 Donuts are my Valentine. They’re sweet, comforting, and have a hole in the middle just like my heart.
• 🧁 Cupcakes are better than boyfriends. They’re sweet, they don’t talk back, and if they disappoint you, you can get a new one.
• 🍔 My burger is the perfect Valentine – juicy, satisfying, and doesn’t judge my table manners.
• 🍜 Ramen is my Valentine’s date. Cheap, quick, and fills me up.
• 🍳 My Valentine’s breakfast told me a joke. It was egg-cellent.
• 🥐 Croissants make better Valentines than people. They’re flaky in a good way.
• 🍟 Fries before guys. At least fries don’t tell lies.
• 🍹 My Valentine’s cocktail and I have a lot in common. We’re both sweet but with a bitter aftertaste.
• 🌽 I’m searching for that special someone who looks at me the way I look at corn on the cob.
• 🍇 Grapes are the perfect Valentine. They come in a bunch but let you enjoy them one at a time.
• 🥪 I made a sandwich for Valentine’s Day. It was my jam.
• 🥗 Salad is like a healthy relationship – takes effort, good for you, but sometimes you just want pizza.

Music & Movie Valentine’s Jokes

• 🎵 My Valentine’s Day playlist is just “All By Myself” on repeat.
• 🎬 My Valentine’s movie marathon is all disaster films. Still more romantic than my dating history.
• 🎸 I play love songs for my plants on Valentine’s Day. They’re the only things growing in my life.
• 🎭 My love life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and the happy ending.
• 📺 I’m in a serious relationship with my TV series. We spend every night together.
• 🎤 My microwave and I have a song: “Just the Two of Us.”
• 🎻 My heart strings are unattached, just like my guitar after the E string broke.
• 🎼 My love songs are all in minor keys this Valentine’s Day.
• 📽️ I’m the main character in the movie of my life, still waiting for the love interest to appear.
• 🎧 My headphones give me more consistent satisfaction than any relationship ever has.
• 🎵 I wrote a love song called “Single Forever.” It’s just silence for 3 minutes.
• 🎬 My dating life would make a great movie: “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Minutes.”
• 📚 My love story is still in the drafting phase.
• 🎸 What do you call a musician without a significant other? Solo artist.
• 🎭 My love life is like Shakespeare – a comedy to some, a tragedy to me.
• 🍿 My Valentine’s date is with whatever Netflix recommends.
• 🎵 I asked my speaker to play love songs. It started playing “All By Myself.”
• 🎬 My dating history is like a film reel – mostly cutting room floor material.
• 🎤 My karaoke song this Valentine’s? “I Will Survive.”
• 📺 I binge-watch shows so I can be emotionally invested in relationships that aren’t mine.

Valentine’s Day Observations

• 🧐 Valentine’s Day is just a conspiracy created by chocolate companies to boost first-quarter sales.
• 💸 Valentine’s Day: The day my wallet says “relationship status: it’s complicated” with my bank account.
• 📆 February 14th is just another day where I don’t have to shave my legs.
• 🥡 Valentine’s Day dinner reservation for one: my couch, 7 PM sharp.
• 🛒 Valentine’s Day shopping is easier when you’re single. Add to cart: wine, chocolate, zero expectations.
• 🕰️ Valentine’s Day is just a Thursday with more pressure and higher restaurant prices.
• 💤 The best part of being single on Valentine’s Day? No one snoring beside you.
• 🛍️ Singles’ superpower on Valentine’s Day: Walking past card sections without anxiety.
• 🧠 On Valentine’s Day, couples stress about getting the perfect gift while singles stress about nothing.
• 🍽️ Watching couples argue at fancy restaurants is my Valentine’s entertainment.
• 📱 Valentine’s Day: When social media becomes a competition of who has the most elaborate demonstration of affection.
• 🧸 The stuffed bears holding hearts never look as desperate as the people buying them on February 13th.
• 🧮 Valentine’s math: 1 + 1 = complicated, but 1 = freedom.
• 🧘 Valentine’s Day is when I practice mindfulness by being fully present with my pizza.
• 💯 Valentine’s Day is a performance review for relationships that no one asked for.
• 🏹 Cupid must be using me for target practice because he keeps missing.
• 🔍 I’m not looking for love on Valentine’s Day, I’m looking for discount chocolate on February 15th.
• 📊 Love is statistically just dopamine and poor judgment.
• 💑 Couples on Valentine’s Day: Planning elaborate dates. Singles: Planning elaborate ways to avoid social media.
• 🎭 The greatest performance on Valentine’s Day is couples pretending they’re happier than singles.

“Forever Alone” Jokes

• 🦴 My skeleton has been single its entire life. Talk about being forever alone.
• 🔮 A fortune teller told me I’d meet the love of my life this year. She also said her crystal ball needs repair.
• 🧟 Even zombies can find someone who wants their brains. I’m still searching for someone who appreciates mine.
• 👻 I asked a ghost if they’re single too. They said, “Boo-hoo.”
• 🏝️ I’m so single, even the desert island in my dreams has WiFi and pizza delivery.
• 🪦 My dating life is so dead, it qualifies for a funeral.
• 🤹 I’m juggling so many rejections, I could join the circus.
• 🥊 My heart’s been knocked out so many times, it should wear a helmet.
• 🧮 I’ve been single for so long, I’ve lost count. My calculator just shows “∞.”
• 🧙 My dating magic trick? Making potential relationships disappear.
• 🌵 I’m like a cactus – tough exterior, full of water, and people appreciate me from a distance.
• 🏜️ My dating life is so dry, it makes the Sahara look like a water park.
• 🐢 I move so slow in relationships, tortoises pass me by.
• 🌋 My love life isn’t dormant, it’s extinct.
• 🧠 I overthink being single so much, my brain deserves a vacation.
• 🏔️ My standards are like Mount Everest – hard to reach but spectacular if you make it.
• 🧩 I’m not missing a piece of me. I’m just a different puzzle altogether.
• 🧻 My romantic history is like toilet paper during a pandemic – nonexistent.
• 🎞️ The rom-com of my life keeps getting stuck in the opening scene.
• 👣 I’ve left so many footprints in the sand, but I’m still walking alone.

Valentine’s Day Puns

• 💕 Are you a cardiologist? Because you just made my heart skip a beat… with anxiety.
• 🧪 Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te, but not for me.
• 🧙 Are you a magical potion? Because you’re giving me weird feelings I don’t understand.
• 🍯 Bee mine? No thanks, I’m allergic.
• 🧲 We have so much chemistry but no attraction.
• 🔍 My heart is like a search engine – processing many requests but finding no matches.
• 🧩 We just don’t fit together, which is puzzling.
• 🚪 Are you a door? Because everyone walks through you except me.
• 🥁 Our timing is like a bad drummer – always off-beat.
• 🎯 Cupid must be using me for target practice, but his aim needs work.
• 🔄 My heart is like a revolving door – everyone comes in, everyone goes out.
• 🧠 Are you a thought? Because you keep running through my mind but never stay.
• 🐌 My dating life is moving at a snail’s pace, minus the trail of progress.
• 🧵 Our connection is like loose thread – there, but not strong enough.
• 🌡️ You must be a fever because you make my temperature rise, but I still feel bad.
• 🚦 Our relationship status is permanently on yellow: proceed with caution.
• 📉 My love life graph shows a downward trend.
• 🎨 You color my world, but I’m more into black and white.
• 📞 We should call it quits, but neither of us has the other’s number.
• 🚘 My love life is like a car crash in slow motion – fascinating but painful to watch.

“Who Needs Love?” Jokes

• 🍰 Who needs a Valentine when you have cake? Cake never disappoints.
• 📚 Books are better companions than people. They take you places without making you split the gas money.
• 🐱 My cat is better than a Valentine. Lower maintenance, higher appreciation.
• 💤 Who needs love when you can have the whole bed to yourself?
• 💸 Relationships are expensive. Being single is financially savvy.
• 🚽 Who needs a relationship? I can’t even commit to a toilet paper brand.
• 🛫 Being single means your vacation destinations aren’t compromised.
• 📱 My phone gives me more consistent joy than any relationship has.
• 🧩 Who needs a Valentine? They’re like puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit.
• 🧠 Relationships require brain space I’m currently using to remember song lyrics.
• 👖 Being single means no one judges your laundry schedule.
• 🍿 Who needs romance when you have unlimited snacks and zero judgment?
• 🏊 Dating is like swimming – exhausting, sometimes you sink, and there’s always someone who makes it look easier than it is.
• 🧘 Inner peace doesn’t require a plus-one.
• 🌍 The world is full of experiences that don’t require relationship status verification.
• 🎮 Video games never ask “What are we?”
• 🌮 Tacos never leave you on read.
• 🛌 Who needs cuddles when you have weighted blankets?
• 🏆 Being single means you win every argument by default.
• 🧀 Who needs romance? Cheese offers more variety and consistent satisfaction.

Conclusion

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you can’t have a good laugh. These 220 Valentine’s Day jokes for singles are the perfect way to turn the day into something lighthearted and fun. Embrace your independence, share the joy with friends, and let the humor lift your spirits. After all, love comes in many forms—and laughter is definitely one of them!