220 Valentines Jokes And Riddles for Heartfelt Laughter

Looking for a way to spread love and laughter this Valentine’s Day? Our collection of 220 Valentines jokes and riddles is perfect for kids, couples, and anyone who loves a good giggle. These funny and light-hearted Valentine puns, romantic riddles, and silly one-liners are sure to warm hearts and bring smiles.

Whether you’re making a card, planning a party, or just want to cheer someone up, these funny Valentine’s Day jokes are the way to go. We’ve got a mix of clean humor, love-themed jokes, and clever riddles to suit everyone. Share the joy and create some heartfelt laughter this Valentine’s!

Sweet & Funny Valentine’s One-Liners

• ❤️ What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? “You can count on me.”
• 💘 What did one volcano say to the other? “I lava you!”
• 💖 What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you!”
• 💕 What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche!
• 💐 What did the lightbulb say to its valentine? “You turn me on!”
• 🍫 What did one bee say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “I love bee-ing with you, honey!”
• 💌 What did the paper clip say to the magnet? “I find you very attractive.”
• 🌹 What do you call a very small valentine? A valen-tiny!
• 💝 What did the pickle say to his valentine? “You mean a great dill to me.”
• 💏 What did one rabbit say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “Somebunny loves you!”
• 🥰 What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale!
• 💓 What did the cat say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re purr-fect for me.”
• 🎈 What did the Valentine’s card say to the stamp? “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”
• 💑 What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert on Valentine’s Day? I-scream!
• 🧸 Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his Valentine’s dinner? He was already stuffed!
• 🎭 What did one boat say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “Are you up for a little row-mance?”
• 💍 What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses!
• 🍦 What did the ice cream say to the cone on Valentine’s Day? “You make me melt!”
• 💘 Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date!
• 🧠 What did one brain cell say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “I’ve got my ion you!”

Valentine’s Riddles with Heart

• 💘 I can be stolen or given away, yet no one wants to lose me. What am I? Love!
• ❤️ I can make you smile, I can make you cry, but you’ll only feel me if you’re alive. What am I? Emotions!
• 🌹 I have thorns but no stems, petals but no flowers, and pages but no books. What am I? A love note!
• 💝 I’m made of cloth but not clothing, filled with feathers but can’t fly, and I help you dream. What am I? A pillow for cuddles!
• 💋 I’m something people exchange when in love, yet it costs nothing. What am I? A kiss!
• 💑 I can be hot or cold, brewed or iced, but on Valentine’s Day I’m best shared as a pair. What am I? Tea for two!
• 🍫 I’m sweet and smooth, sometimes dark, sometimes light, but always a Valentine’s delight. What am I? Chocolate!
• 💌 I travel the world but stay in one corner. What am I? A stamp on a love letter!
• 💓 I beat for you but never get tired. What am I? Your heart!
• 🎵 I can be played or sung but never touched. What am I? A love song!
• 💕 I come in a pair but am used by two people. What am I? Chopsticks for a romantic dinner!
• 🍷 I’m often raised when celebrating love. What am I? A toast!
• 🌹 I grow shorter as I grow older. What am I? A candle on a romantic dinner!
• 💍 I start with E, end with E, but only contain one letter. What am I? An envelope with a love note!
• 👩‍❤️‍👨 We belong together, we’re a perfect match, even though we’re different. What are we? Salt and pepper shakers!
• 💘 If you break me, I’ll not stop working, but if you touch me, I might be stolen. What am I? Your heart!
• 🧸 I’m soft and cuddly and given on Valentine’s Day. What am I? A teddy bear!
• 🔐 I have a head and a tail but no body. What am I? A coin to make a wish for love!
• 💝 I’m always hungry but never fed. What am I? Endless love!
• 💓 What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left? Your left hand, to hold while walking!

Cheesy Valentine’s Pick-Up Lines

• 🌟 Are you a star? Because you make my dark days bright!
• ☕ Are you coffee? Because I like you a latte!
• 🍕 Are you pizza? Because you’ve got a pizza my heart!
• 🧲 Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive!
• 🌞 Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes!
• 📚 Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for!
• 🔥 Is your name WiFi? Because I’m feeling a connection!
• 🧠 Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te!
• 🎯 Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw!
• 🚑 Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you!
• 🔋 Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
• 🧩 Are you a puzzle piece? Because you complete me!
• 🔮 If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!
• 🎹 Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other!
• 🧪 Are you a compound of beryllium and barium? Because you’re BaBe!
• 🧁 If you were a dessert, you’d be a sweetie pie!
• 🌡️ Are you a thermometer? Because you make my temperature rise!
• 🔍 Are you French? Because Eiffel for you!
• ⚡ Do you have a lightning bolt scar? Because you’ve cast a spell on my heart!
• 📝 My love for you is like dividing by zero – it cannot be defined!

Valentine’s Knock-Knock Jokes

• 💘 Knock knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you so much!
• ❤️ Knock knock! Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a Valentine’s kiss?
• 💓 Knock knock! Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea mine, Valentine!
• 💋 Knock knock! Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you know how much I love you?
• 💑 Knock knock! Who’s there? Tulip. Tulip who? Tulip your head and give me a kiss!
• 🌹 Knock knock! Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like to be your Valentine!
• 💝 Knock knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to give you a Valentine!
• 🎁 Knock knock! Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for being my Valentine!
• 💌 Knock knock! Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always be your Valentine!
• 💍 Knock knock! Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who’s got a Valentine for you!
• 🧸 Knock knock! Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes how much I love you!
• 🍫 Knock knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna-ther day to say I love you!
• 💕 Knock knock! Who’s there? Carmen. Carmen who? Carmen be my Valentine?
• 🎈 Knock knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter believe I love you!
• 💐 Knock knock! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda be my Valentine?
• 💘 Knock knock! Who’s there? Hugo. Hugo who? Hugo first, and give me a Valentine’s hug!
• 💖 Knock knock! Who’s there? Willis. Willis who? Willis you be my Valentine?
• 💓 Knock knock! Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot of Valentine’s chocolates and now I feel sick!
• 💝 Knock knock! Who’s there? Thermos. Thermos who? Thermos be my way to your heart!
• 💑 Knock knock! Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police be my Valentine!

Valentine’s Day Puns

• 🧀 Are you a cheese? Because you make me feel grate!
• 🍯 Bee mine, honey!
• 🌮 I love you from my head to-ma-toes!
• 🍦 We were mint to be together!
• 🧲 I’m so attracted to you!
• 🍔 You’re the burger to my fries!
• 🥞 You’re flipping awesome, Valentine!
• 🌮 Let’s taco ’bout how much I love you!
• 🦔 You’re hedgehog-ably cute!
• 🍋 We make a great pear!
• 🧇 I waffle-y adore you!
• 🍕 You’ve got a pizza my heart!
• 🧪 We have great chemistry!
• 🍦 You’re cool like ice cream!
• 🥪 You’re the peanut butter to my jelly!
• 🐝 Let’s stick together, Valentine!
• 🧩 You’re just my style – we fit together!
• 🧁 You’re sweet like cupcakes!
• 🍬 I’m sweet on you!
• 🧲 You’re so attractive, I can’t resist!

Valentine’s Day Math Jokes

• ➗ Why did the two 4’s skip lunch on Valentine’s Day? They already 8!
• ➕ What did the calculator say to the math book on Valentine’s Day? “You can count on me!”
• ✖️ What did zero say to eight on Valentine’s Day? “Nice belt!”
• ➖ Why was 6 afraid of 7 on Valentine’s Day? Because 7, 8, 9!
• 📏 What do mathematicians do on Valentine’s Day? They find the root of love!
• 📐 Why didn’t the obtuse angle go out on Valentine’s Day? It was never right!
• 🔢 What did one math book say to another on Valentine’s Day? “I’ve got problems for you!”
• 📊 What happens when geometry teachers flirt on Valentine’s Day? They generate sparks from acute angle!
• 🧮 What did one calculus book say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “Let’s find our limits together!”
• 🎲 Why did the statistician bring a ladder to the Valentine’s party? To raise the bar!
• 🔄 What do you get when you cross a mathematician with Cupid? Love in all dimensions!
• 🥧 What do you call a very romantic circle? A pi-e lover!
• 📝 How did the mathematician ask his valentine out? “Can I have your digits?”
• 🔢 What’s a mathematician’s favorite Valentine’s saying? “I ♥ U 2!”
• 📈 Why did the mathematician send 10 Valentine’s cards to his girlfriend? He wanted to be thorough to the power of 10!
• 🧠 What did one logarithm say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “We’re natural together!”
• 🎯 What do you call it when a mathematician’s heart is broken? A discontinuity!
• 🧵 Why did the parallel lines never meet on Valentine’s Day? It wasn’t meant to be!
• 📚 What did the triangle say to the circle on Valentine’s Day? “You’re pointless but I love you!”
• 🔄 What do you get when you take the integral of “1/cabin” with respect to cabin? Natural log cabin… a romantic getaway!

Valentine’s Day Food Jokes

• 🍓 What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry on Valentine’s Day? “I’m berry fond of you!”
• 🧁 What did the cupcake say to the frosting? “I’d be muffin without you!”
• 🍔 What did the hamburger buy his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day? An onion ring!
• 🍕 What did the pizza say to his valentine? “You’ve got a pizza my heart!”
• 🥑 What did the avocado say to its valentine? “Let’s guac and roll!”
• 🥨 Why do pretzels make good valentines? They’re always giving warm hugs!
• 🍪 Why was the cookie sad on Valentine’s Day? Because its heart was broken!
• 🍗 What did the drumstick say on Valentine’s Day? “I’m sticking with you!”
• 🍎 What did the apple say to the worm on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
• 🥜 What did the peanut butter say to the jelly? “We’re better together!”
• 🧀 What’s a mouse’s favorite Valentine’s snack? Cheese and quackers!
• 🥞 What did the syrup say to the pancake? “I fall flat for you!”
• 🥕 What’s a rabbit’s favorite Valentine’s dinner? A candlelit carrot dinner for two!
• 🍯 What did one honeybee say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the bee’s knees!”
• 🧄 What did the garlic say to its date? “I hope our love is strong enough to overcome my breath!”
• 🥓 Why didn’t the bacon go on a Valentine’s date? It couldn’t bring home the bread!
• 🍫 What did the chocolate say to the nut? “I’m nuts about you!”
• 🍦 What did the ice cream cone say to the scoop? “You make me melt!”
• 🍇 What did the grape say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re fine wine!”
• 🍋 What did the lemon say to the lime on Valentine’s Day? “We’re sublime together!”

Valentine’s Animal Jokes

• 🐢 What did the boy turtle say to the girl turtle on Valentine’s Day? “You’re turtle-y awesome!”
• 🐶 What did the dog say on Valentine’s Day? “I ruff you!”
• 🐦 What did the bird say to its valentine? “Owl always love you!”
• 🐻 What did the bear say on Valentine’s Day? “I can’t bear to be without you!”
• 🐱 What’s a cat’s favorite Valentine’s candy? Chocolate mice!
• 🐸 What did the frog say on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart leap!”
• 🦊 What did the fox say to his valentine? “You’re fox-tastic!”
• 🐰 What did one bunny say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “Somebunny loves you!”
• 🦁 What did the lion say to his valentine? “You’re roar-some!”
• 🐴 What did the horse say on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stable when I’m with you!”
• 🐘 What did the elephant say to his valentine? “I’ll never forget you!”
• 🦒 What did the giraffe say on Valentine’s Day? “I’m neck-s over heels for you!”
• 🐝 What did the bee say to the flower? “Hello, honey!”
• 🦉 What did the owl say to his valentine? “Owl always be yours!”
• 🐺 What did the wolf say on Valentine’s Day? “I howl for you!”
• 🐟 What did one fish say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re fin-tastic!”
• 🦆 What did the duck say on Valentine’s Day? “You quack me up!”
• 🐿️ What did the squirrel say to his valentine? “I’m nuts about you!”
• 🐢 Why was the snail so slow on Valentine’s Day? He was carrying a heavy heart!
• 🦜 What did the parrot say on Valentine’s Day? “Polly wants a valentine!”

Valentine’s School Jokes

• 📚 What did the pencil say to the paper on Valentine’s Day? “I dot my i’s for you!”
• 🎒 What did the student say to the backpack? “I’ve carried a torch for you all year!”
• 📝 What did one test say to another? “I think we have great chemistry!”
• 🖍️ What did the red crayon say to the blue crayon? “You color my world!”
• 📏 What did the ruler say to the pencil? “You measure up to my standards!”
• 📒 What did the notebook say to the pen? “You make your mark on me!”
• 🧮 What did the calculator say to the math problem? “Let’s solve this together!”
• 📖 What did the book say to the bookmark? “You always keep my place in your heart!”
• 🎭 What did the drama student say on Valentine’s Day? “You act like you’re perfect for me!”
• 🏫 What did the school bell say on Valentine’s Day? “I’m ringing with love for you!”
• 🚌 What did the school bus say to the road? “You drive me crazy!”
• 🖊️ What did the pen say to the paper? “I fall for you line after line!”
• 📅 What did the calendar say on Valentine’s Day? “Your days are numbered with me!”
• 🍎 What did the apple say to the teacher? “You’re the core of my education!”
• 📕 What did one library book say to the other? “I’ve been checking you out for a while!”
• 🧹 What did the broom say to the dustpan? “You sweep me off my feet!”
• 🧪 What did one test tube say to another? “I’ve got a solution for our chemistry!”
• 🥼 What did the lab coat say on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart react!”
• 🎨 What did the paintbrush say to the canvas? “You bring color to my life!”
• 🏆 What did the trophy say to the winner? “You’ve won my heart!”

Valentine’s Day Tech Jokes

• 💻 What did the computer say to its valentine? “You auto-complete me!”
• 📱 Why did the cell phone send its valentine a text? It didn’t have the courage to call!
• 🖱️ What did the mouse say to the keyboard? “You’re just my type!”
• 📲 What did the smartphone say on Valentine’s Day? “Let’s connect!”
• 💾 What did the USB say to the computer port? “It was love at first byte!”
• 📡 What did the satellite say to its valentine? “You’re out of this world!”
• 🔋 What did the battery say to its valentine? “I get a charge out of you!”
• 🔌 What did one socket say to the other? “We make a perfect connection!”
• 📤 What did the printer say on Valentine’s Day? “We were made to be compatible!”
• 📺 What did the TV say to the remote? “You turn me on!”
• 🎧 What did the headphones say to the music player? “You sound perfect to me!”
• 🌐 What did the website say to its server? “Without you, I’m just offline!”
• 📨 What did the email say to the inbox? “We have an attachment!”
• 📸 What did the camera say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re always in my focus!”
• 🎮 What did the video game say to the player? “You’ve got game!”
• 🔐 What did the password say to the user? “You’re the key to my heart!”
• 🗄️ What did the folder say to the file? “I’ll keep your secrets safe!”
• 💿 What did the CD say to the CD player? “We make beautiful music together!”
• 🧮 What did the algorithm say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the solution to all my problems!”
• ⌨️ What did the keyboard say to the fingers? “You’re my type!”

Valentine’s Day Sports Jokes

• ⚽ What did the soccer ball say on Valentine’s Day? “I get a kick out of you!”
• 🏀 What did the basketball say to the hoop? “You make me bounce with joy!”
• ⚾ What did the baseball say to the bat? “You’re a real hit with me!”
• 🏈 What did the football say to the field? “You make me want to touch down!”
• 🏸 What did the badminton player say on Valentine’s Day? “You really shuttle-cock my world!”
• 🏊 What did the swimmer say to the pool? “I dive into love with you!”
• 🏋️ What did the dumbbell say to the athlete? “You lift me up!”
• 🥊 What did the boxing glove say on Valentine’s Day? “You knock me out!”
• 🧘 What did the yoga mat say to the yogi? “You bend me the right way!”
• 🎯 What did the dart say to the bullseye? “You’re the center of my aim!”
• 🏄 What did the surfer say to the wave? “You make my heart swell!”
• 🎱 What did the 8-ball say on Valentine’s Day? “All signs point to love!”
• 🏌️ What did the golf ball say to the club? “You drive me crazy!”
• 🎾 What did the tennis ball say to the racket? “We make quite the match!”
• 🤿 What did the scuba diver say to the ocean? “You take my breath away!”
• 🎳 What did the bowling ball say to the pins? “I’m falling for you!”
• 🏂 What did the snowboarder say on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart do tricks!”
• 🏆 What did the trophy say to the champion? “You’ve won my heart!”
• 🏓 What did the ping pong ball say to the paddle? “You make me bounce with joy!”
• ⛸️ What did the ice skater say on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart glide!”

Conclusion

These 220 Valentines jokes and riddles offer the perfect blend of humor and love. They’re ideal for making your Valentine’s Day extra special and fun. From sweet puns to romantic wordplay, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.

Use them to brighten someone’s day or add a personal touch to your celebration. Let laughter and love-filled fun take center stage this Valentine’s!